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So I went out last night to this fondue restaurant for a birthday dinner. Having never tasted this concoction I was a bit hesitant to the experience. I mean, shit, my dinner would consist of dipping stuff in melted cheese and shoving it into my awaiting maw. Really, melted cheese is also messy as all hell, so my fear was also that I'd somehow get a picture taken of me with a piece of break covered in cheese in my mouth and have it posted to the far flung corners of the internet thus cementing me as "The Cheese Douchebag" which I must confess I have not really thought of as a viable career path.

So we get there and we sit down. The place itself is pretty nice, it's nice and relaxing and I'm enjoying the atmosphere. We get to our table and we get ready to hate ourselves the next day.

For those of you who have never tried the stuff the process goes like this:

First you choose the type of cheese for the melting. We chose cheddar because we all like to keep things simple. Also because none of us were willing to try the "fancier" cheeses because dammit, we're american and we want our yellow cheese god dammit.

They melt the cheese in front of you and you get stuff like bread, veggies and apples to dip in it. I chose the bread because honestly, I'm dipping something in melted cheese I'm not gonna half ass this shit and try to go healthy, let's just shove a ham in there and finish it.

It was pretty tasty, but we manged to get the fucking stuff everywhere. I have to say, when we got to the booth it was pristine, but after we left it looked like someone with severe phlegm issues had occupied the space. Enjoy that mental image. We even managed to get the cheese in a god damn drink glass which made us all awkwardly look at the waitress as she mentally sighed and realized that assholes like us controlled he amount she got in tips.

We then got salad. You know, once you eat a bunch of shit dipped in pure cheese you really are just insulting yourself by getting a salad. Just be honest about what this meal will entail. I chose a Ceaser salad, it had pine nuts in it which I have to say I didn't like at all. It was eating a salad and having honey roasted peanuts just hiding in the leaves like little snipers.

The main course is where you get a a variety of meats and seafood and you place them in a boiling pot of broth. This is my least favorite part of the night. The entire time I'm cooking steak pieces and stuff I have no clue when they're done. Also the pot is pretty small so we basically had to have a death match to get to our respective fondue forks to get our meat our of the hot pot (Cinemax have I got a script for you). So the entire time I'm pulling the stuff out, checking if it's done, then putting it back in.

So I spent the entire main course wondering if I cooked the stuff all the way through and if not how badly would I be in pain before I died of food poising, which are not thoughts I like to think while I enjoy dinner.

Dessert was melted chocolate that we dipped cheesecake and rice crispie treats into. I'm enjoying myself but a part of me was thinking: "Wow, I should just shove my glass into the chocolate and get it over with.". I didn't but I think the fact that I didn't will haunt me forever.

Anyway, it was pretty fun.

Also, Adventure Time is pretty awesome. "Henchmen" was such a good episode. It sucks Chowder and Flapjack were canceled though, but honestly I'd rather have something canceled then run into the ground.

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punishermax

September 2010

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